Thanks, dw - I really do appreciate the prayers and thoughts.
You are absolutely right - she doesn't fit. The kids and I play, have fun, enjoy each other and extended family, love God, go to church, value their education.
W goes to school, goes to work, has BFF come over and spend most of the time with the kids - W usually takes a night when she doesn't have to study, and could be with the kids, and goes to dinner with OM. The last 5 holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, President's Day, and Valentine's Day) she has had either BFF or OM over to spend the holiday. In the last 6 weeks, she has done ONE special thing with just her and the kids. I purposefully don't schedule anything during my time with the kids so we aren't interrupted.
What the heck am I thinking that there is anything mutual in W's desire to get what she wants, and my desire to make my family happy and love God?
I love her dearly, and always will, but at some point, I have to man up - and focus my efforts on my kids. W distracts me from giving them the attention and love they deserve - and they need so much from me right now.
