I support this fully - Puppy has grasped the concept for a long time, it took me up until a month and a half ago to "get it".
Emotionally, it is VERY difficult - Pearl just happens to have a great balance of righteous anger, and control of her emotions - and the ability to get her butt out and GAL!
Just to reiterate Puppy's goals - I did the same thing. W is in an EA or PA - barely spoke to me. I went dark for a month. I was civil and responded to requests about the kids. At the end of it, she started sending pics, texting, etc. Wouldn't even get out of the car to drop off kids, and after the month, started coming in, wanting to see what was going on, etc.
During that month she also has gone on one date - before it was twice a week.
So, just a second hurrah to you, Pearl - stay strong, you were not the one who walked away. You admitted your weaknesses, admitted your faults, worked on them, and stayed true. Although, I'm sure you had your share of blame in the relationship, you are the one who faced up to it.
Now, it's his turn. I'm sending W a note today: I cannot be friends with someone who would refuse to work on their relationship and marriage, and turn to OM.
If this drives them away, then you don't want them anyway. And that's coming from a guy who HATES divorce, and LOVES his wife.
