Can I stop by this weekend and hang with the cats?
I’m not sure how long you will be gone, but if just Sat & Sun, I could cat sit and sleep on the couch?
Umm, he has his own apartment. I'm not going to be home. What is the point?
Wow.. He is even willing to take a few crumbs. Mr. Tunechanger. It is eating away at him now. He WILL snoop. You have him wondering what in the world is going on with you. PERFECT position you are in now to take this relationship in whatever direction you want.
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While I was out to dinner with a girlfriend and her husband, xBF called and left a message. This is the first phone call since the kicking out.
Mr. Tunechanger is now Mr. Pursuing. Who would have guessed? Right Puppy?
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Hey, it's me. Umm, calling to see if you're willing to talk sometime or, about stuff. Of if we just, I guess, or I guess we have to talk some time one way or the other. I don't know if you're home now or what. But I just want to talk...and sorry. All right, I guess email me if you want to. Bye.
Mr. Tunechanger is now Mr. I Just Want To Talk and Mr. I Just Want To Communicate. I have always found it fascinating how much faster they come back when you do an about face and let them go and show them you will NOT tolerate a third person in a relationship. You tried and tried and tried, and then quit trying and get strong... Boom..
Great job Pearl. There are a lot of people that are secretly following your thread here and observing the results of what you are doing. Would this work for me? Isn't she taking a chance on blowing her opportunity? Why is this working? etc. etc. etc...
Remember. The ball is in your court now. Good position for you to be in. He has stepped up the pursuit big time. He wants you back. Try not to get indecisive now. Even if you tell him that you are done, he will probably step up the pursuit even more and keep trying... As you can tell from reading the many threads on this site, rejection makes them want you even more. Another letter, another phone call, another apology, another comment of wanting to be friends, another comment of how they will let you go if that is what you want.. etc..
And then a day later... ANOTHER attempt. Another letter, another phone call..... another attempt at friendship another offer of getting together.....
All in all.. You are in the driver seat now. You deserve the credit for your tough stance and standing strong even when you had some weak moments. It was standing strong when you felt weak that turned this around. NO MISTAKES is the key.
Have a wonderful weekend. You have grown and I think now have found out how powerful taking a strong stance and approach works in these situations. Can you imagine if you were still hanging in there and hoping that by being nice and sweet to him would turn him around and where you would be?
Keep doing what works. If you decide to open the door a crack, make sure to keep him in the "crisis." Remember that people dont usually change until they are put through a crisis of great proportion. Keep in mind the tone of your communication to him if you go that route. Do not give up your well earned gains.
Wow.. He is even willing to take a few crumbs.