Funny... I get my D17's Facebook "status" emails in my email (one of the conditions of her having it...), and two of them came in this am from her cutie boyfriends from school about looking just like her Hot Mom! Ha! And, so are you bringing your Cute Mom to the game tonight? Hahaha!
The teen's all ADORE my H, as he's a bit of a clown. Loves having the kids around, and goofs off with them all when they're here, or harasses them when we go to games, etc... They're usually making comments about him!
Puts a little kick in my step. For a brief moment.
Seriously, thanks for everything. No one here really knows anything that's going on in our M (just my BF), so it is a nice place to vent. Re-reading everything helps, too.
Be well, Friend!!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Mike.. Ha! Note to self... sign up for acting classes!
Exercise program starts Monday (doesn't it always!?!?!?). My friends and I are doing it together.
I'm trying to think of what I was like before we were married. I had a 2-year old daughter, but more time. Now, with three kids, involved in multiple athletics, I have so much less time. I liked to go out and have fun. I still do that... I guess I was probably just more care free. This is where I'm stuck. I'm not sure what's different.
For ME, I need to do the exercising, and probably spend less time alone. I had to pull out of a remote office since it was needed a few weeks ago, so I work from home, again...
I'm babbling.
I really do appreciate the being kicked in the a$$ a bit. In fact, I enjoy it. It helps me get unstuck.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
I'm trying to think of what I was like before we were married.
I'm talking about what attracted him to you?? Were you cute and sexy?? did you have nice conversations where you both went all gooey eyed?? Something attracted him..that's what he now misses..that's what has been lost and you need to get that back..
I bet you both got comfortable and quit working at the M?? especially when the kids came along...all the time when for the kids and none for you 2..
Quote:
I really do appreciate the being kicked in the a$$ a bit. In fact, I enjoy it. It helps me get unstuck.
not an ass kicking..I speak the truth..straight up and to the point...if you been here for a year then you have seen it all..WAS are all the same..they say the same things, they do the same things..the only difference is whether an OP is involved or not..and by the way..the only way you'll get unstuck is to unstick yourself...by detaching..
My W and I are exactly where your H and you are now. Although she says we are separated and moves away when I touch her. It's been a year for me and I believe it is classic MLC.
When was the last time you and your H ML? Have you tried doing something drastic like sent the kids somewhere and waited at home for him with a 'ahem' surprise?
Maybe it needs something jarring so that he becomes "unstuck".
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Put it this way, if I "can't" remember how I was when we met/prior to getting M, I was not working on keeping our M. That's shocking to me. I truly can't tell you how I was different. I'm truly silenced.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
He does not say we are separated, and, as far as I know, has only mentioned being unhappy once (to a mutual friend of ours) and it wasn't taken seriously because he has had a history of "blowing up" (not nearly as bad as it sounds) and saying something dumb, and then moving on like nothing happened.
I like your idea. I didn't take your advice, yet, but I did do something this weekend. (HIDE THIS POST FROM MIKE - LOL)
I got this hilarious email Subject: Growing Older--Oh Dear! In it are cartoons (mostly cute sexual in nature), and I forwarded it to him, with my own captions next to them. My captions were memories we share of experiences (sexually) that I know he finds either amusing, endearing, or just plain good. All were appropriate to the cartoon, and funny, light, etc... At the beginning of the email it says... Something to look forward to.... I added, "God, I hope so! We were once very fun (intimately). I miss it. Let's work on that!
I know he got it last night. There was no response. There probably wouldn't be, as he's a bit on the shy side. He acted perfectly normal, and was really good, engaging, etc... all day.
We'll see.
SMW suggested the audio series, Light His Fire. I ordered it.
I feel like I can lightly push, but only in a situation where he isn't confronted with the pressure. We'll go with that for now.
I hate it, but...
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
I have noticed all of this stuff for the past year, but haven't put my arms around it all at once.
H doesn't really have any close friends anymore.
H doesn't do anything (that I know of) that he enjoys on his own anymore. (works out of town M-F, makes it home mid-week for a few hours) (weekends are spent handling kids games, and whatever activities we have planned as a family/couple, if required)
H hasn't said he loves me since I stopped saying it to him (11/18/08), except in a card on our anniversary.
H doesn't seem to enjoy really anything except spending time as a family, or with the kids alone if they're doing something.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Put it this way, if I "can't" remember how I was when we met/prior to getting M, I was not working on keeping our M. That's shocking to me. I truly can't tell you how I was different. I'm truly silenced
well..so you're saying you lost yourself?? you lost who you were?? You can't remember what attracted him to you or you to him...
that is rather shocking..14 yrs is not a long period of time..
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He does not say we are separated, and, as far as I know, has only mentioned being unhappy once (to a mutual friend of ours) and it wasn't taken seriously because he has had a history of "blowing up" (not nearly as bad as it sounds) and saying something dumb, and then moving on like nothing happened.
LOL..classic DAM..he does not know the language..
Quote:
I didn't take your advice, yet,
that will be taken as pressure
Quote:
I got this hilarious email Subject: Growing Older--Oh Dear! In it are cartoons (mostly cute sexual in nature), and I forwarded it to him, with my own captions next to them. My captions were memories we share of experiences (sexually) that I know he finds either amusing, endearing, or just plain good. All were appropriate to the cartoon, and funny, light, etc... At the beginning of the email it says... Something to look forward to.... I added, "God, I hope so! We were once very fun (intimately). I miss it. Let's work on that!
I know he got it last night. There was no response. There probably wouldn't be, as he's a bit on the shy side. He acted perfectly normal, and was really good, engaging, etc... all day.[/quote]
all that is well and good...it could be that he sees that as pressure..it could be that he is on the fence and that pushed him away..ya never know
[quote]We'll see.
and yes....we will
Quote:
SMW suggested the audio series, Light His Fire. I ordered it.
It may be good that you know the Martian language and that you understand how this DAM does not know the Venusian language..so Men are from Mars/Women are from Venus may be in order...because really he has no clue...
It also may be good if you read The 5 Love Languages and see if you can figure out just what his is...and what yours may be....
in all honesty..no fires will be lit...until you figure out those things...
