Hi MC - It is amazing that you find yourself in this stuation. In order to protect yourself I guess you have to be suspicious of motives. i think the fine line is when your suspicions start hurting any chance of gaining trust back. I dont have any answers , but i will read with fasination your progress.
I am not religious but I will pray for you on this.
Lots of people are married for all sorts of reasons. List what is important to you and see if it is possible.
