dearest kalni - tomorrow is going to be hard then ... I and many many others really hope that it brings positive things for you and your kids...and for your husband...
It goes without saying but i will take the liberty, on behalf of lots of DBers ...we are rooting for you and thinking of you and sending you hopes and best wishes...
M you have tried so very very hard - no one here is going to have anything other than admiration for your decisions...