It's family tradition in H's family. He started going with his dad and brother when he was 7 or 8 and then our kids also. H's dad still meets with them every year. That's our family for ya!!!
Kat, I have a huge favor to ask you. I can't find my cell phone and I've been looking all day!!! Would you mind trying to ring me when you see this? Maybe I'll hear it or something. I used it last night to call the office when I got done and don't know where the heck I put it--was so tired!!!
Never mind. I found it in the car. I never leave it in there but I guess I was really tired yesterday. So now I can call the mortgage company. Fun fun... Karen
Ok, an hour on the phone talking to 3 different people at the mortgage company and getting transferred and then finally disconnected. Guess I could call back Monday... I did find out that my name is on the deed and not the note they say, so I think just H is responsible for the foreclosure/debt according to the woman from the co. Should I still be trying to assume the loan at a lowered payment or just give up and go with a rental? I have zero experience with this kind of stuff so curious what you think... Karen
I would still try to find out what you can do. Wouldn't it be easier staying where you are if you can afford to? Unless of course you are ready for a fresh start all the way around.
I am just trying to replace things as I can to try to get his ghost out of my house. For example I have newer sheets and bedspread that he has never touched or possibly seen. I am going to strip the last bit of wallpaper from the living room and paint that. Maybe this is in line with your thinking?
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Yeah, that's exactly why I'd like to stay. The next 2 months with the new job and the play are going to be so busy, and I think I'd have 2 weeks about to move about. I'm so sore I'm limping around right now. And I do love the location here. It's next to the theatre and a block from my church and close to everything else in town. It's an over-100 year old house so it needs a lot of work, but I think S15 and I could do at least some of it. So if they'll actually lower it to where I could pay it, I will prob. try to do that. Karen
OK, I totally screwed up today. The kids got home about 5:30 and H was with them of course. I went outside and said hi to the kids (hadn't seen them in 5 days) and talked a lot to H. More than I've said in the past year. Asked about his dad, and his dad took some pictures of the kids for me which was nice. He grew a beard and I didn't say anything about that. Asked how the kids were, he said mostly good except when they went to his mom's (b/c she doesn't have anything for kids to do and is not very good with kids). I've been dark so well for like a year. Is it bad that I emerged from the darkness? I think I will just go back to NC, but in my defense I hadn't seen the kids in days!!! To some extent, it prob. doesn't matter does it??? Karen
Karen, I think you were a mother who was excited to see her children that she missed dearly.
I think you are a person who cares about others. His dad was part of your life for several years. How can you turn that off?
You didn't treat him any different than you would a neighbor. I don't see that you overstepped any boundaries. You didn't ask or make any personal comments. No 2x4's here, my friend.
Hugs, Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Karen, Where are you? Your new job wearing you out? Check in with us soon!
I attended a Lindamood-Bell reading workshop today and will conclude it tomorrow. This is second one in a month. In January I attended the Seeing Stars workshop. Today I attended the Visualizing and Verbalizing (V/V) program. I liked the V/V program better. If you ever get a chance you should attend the V/V program.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Yep, Did a bunch of errands and volunteer work today. Still have a cold, like the 20th it seems I've gotten this past year! I work tomorrow am. Have rehearsal Thursday night, doing legal stuff (hearing about the homeschooling in 2 weeks) and trying to find a place to move in my "spare" time. And I applied to another job today. So busy.
I just checked my email and H had sent one this afternoon about when/where I would meet him to get the kids tomorrow afternoon at lunchtime. Well I emailed a place right by where I'm going to be working tomorrow, a convenience store, and said I'll meet him there when I get off work and he can drop off the kids there or at our house whichever he prefers. I figure if the kids aren't there I can still get a cool drink! I said won't have email access tomorrow am, so just leave a vm if he's not going to. He can do whatever. What a creep!
I am feeling just like H on his post tonight. I even had that thought like he's the father of my children. But you know I think I deserve (we all here do!) a good guy: my wish list is Christian, supportive, loving, hopefully a little funny too. H hasn't been any of those things now for at least 2 years, so time to move on... Karen
Well, I found out that when you have laryngitis/flu walking 4 hours is prob. not a good idea. Didn't even think of calling in sick today b/c I've only been on this temp job for a week. The L's office called me today and I got out of going in there b/c of the way I sounded. Got a hearing on getting the kids evaluated on the 23rd. They put in the motion they want the evaluator to determine if public school is a viable option for the kids, and the tester when I talked to her said she can't actually do that. So my L was going to have her testify to that. Seems like a waste of hearing and $$ to me, but I guess that's what Divorce is all about.
H emailed me late yesterday (I got it late last night) that he wants me to pick up the kids, I guess at his apt. I have zero desire to ever see that. Wonder if he'll figure it out. I emailed a place by where I was today and said he could drop off the kids there or at our house whichever he prefered. He calls and leaves a vm for me today to call so I can pick them up somewhere more convenient for him. I called and could barely talk but whispered in this gruff trucker voice I have today that I have laryginitis and can't talk and he can pick up the kids where I suggested (which was closer for him) or the house whichever he prefers and then hung up (I never have done that but couldn't talk and yeah I was poed at his self-absorption. I was feverish and thinking I was going to throw up and pass out and he's upset that I can't pick the kids up at the apt. He's such an ass!
He dropped off the kids and I was there. No how ya feeling or you gonna live or something most of us humans would say to each other. I mean I'm driving his kids around, some concern at least for them would be appreciated!
He emailed me why I didn't pick them up at the apt. I emailed him back explaining I was feeling very sick and just couldn't. Next week if I'm healthy maybe we could work out a halfway point b/w him and me and that would be fair. and said Thanks for understanding! (hah ) I was thinking today could a person actually be this much a jerk, or does he do it to make the D easier or something for him? I mean come on!!! Karen
Sorry you are sick. Get some rest, some soup and a nice warm bath. Just imagine how much fun he would have getting the kids in Kansas!! Ok just a tiny evil streak there.
I would remind him that it was his choice to move so far away, maybe he should move closer so that it is more convenient for him. 1/2 way meeting or not all loser boy!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Karen
) I was thinking today could a person actually be this much a jerk, or does he do it to make the D easier or something for him? I mean come on!!! Karen