the pants traveled #17

[Sugar and Spice]

BG I have to agree with Kel and Jeff. I understand the reluctance to file any sort of paperwork for fear that it will cause H to react in a negative way. I fought it and resisted it, but in the end it has given me the most peace. I didn't file LS because I wanted to, I did it because I had to in order to protect myself and my kids from the bad choices that were being made. With the LS and the settlement agreement in place I can sit back and see how things unfold and don't have to worry about whether or not hes going to decide to not pay me or whatever. With that in place, we are safeguarded and H can begin to feel the full affects of the choices he has made.

Be still if you must, but be still and see and hear what is going on around you and you will KNOW what you need to do. I think you already do, it just doesn't necessarily fit with what you want or what you should be able to have right now. LS is not slamming the door. It is taking a stand, it is telling him you are not a doormat and that is the bottom line. It says if you want to be with me, then you have to choose. If you don't do something, this behavior is going to continue indefinately and I know you don't want that either.

LS is not a D. It was the way for me to be still. It relieved a lot of stress for me and helped set some boundaries and ground rules. You have FAR more on your plate than I ever did, so at this point its more about you and your kids. The continued stress of his indecision can't be good for you and for me it was a way of taking back some of my power.

I'm here for you no matter what you choose, but I've done it and it was scary, but the end results have been beneficial for me and my kids.

Take care of yourself.