You may have needed to physically detach for your sanity and in order to emotionally detach. However, it does sound like going dark did make it easier for her to move on and leave. She didn't have to question what she was leaving behind because the door felt closed.
BTW, I think the reason OM called that one time when she was having dinner with you is because he probably felt a little jealous and threatened. If this had turned out to be a positive experience she might have left questioning her decision a little more.
Of course, that doesn't mean it would have stopped the D, or changed their relationship, but it might have made made the D just a little more difficult for her (and as far as I'm concerned, anything to make the OP jealous, or possibly react in an ugly way, is a nice little payback).
Running, In hindsight, you are probably right that he called her specifically because he felt threatened. There is no way I could have seen that then.
We can never know how changes in our reactions/actions might affect our results somewhere down the line. The problem lies in the fact that worrying about this too much causes "analysis paralysis", or the inability to act for fear of the result. For the newly LBS this is big problem as they (we) put SOOO much emphasis in the smallest action/reaction of the WAS that we are unable to function ourselves. I saw this in my own life and decided the following:
"Know what is right, then do what is right"
Sometimes, the "correct" thing to do is not the "right" thing to do. Make sense?
Standing by while she cuckolds me in my own home, in front of my child was probably "correct" DB'ing but if it killed my self-respect in the process, in my mind it would not be worth it.
I must love myself in order to love you.
H: 38 W: 36 S: 8 S: 5 M: 16 Bomb: 8/25/08 OM: 9/21/08 EA (Possible PA) with co-worker since 5/08 (at least...) Sep: 9/21/08 D Filed 9/23/08 My Situation
