Innocent

[Jayce]

Sorry, Cinco. I didn't mean to make you feel beat up. The only one here who yells about D is my H. He did it again after last weekend which was a bust cuz he got mad about something the dog did & then the Sat. nite event was pretty bad. Sulked for 3 days.

D threat with him seems like he's either testing to see if I'll take him up on it, (like how much can he get away with, or how hurt/angry I am), or he's saying something like if he has to be nice all the time he'd rather be divorced. Either way, I ignore it because taking the bait would be a second argument. A diversion from the point. After a couple days, he lightens up and may initiate. And he doesn't go back to the beginning of all this, but wherever we left off in improving the approach. That's interesting. It tells me he's trying & not as clueless as he says. Wed. nite he wanted to ML but ranted about work awhile first. I asked him what he was thinking about on the way home & he said he was thinking about going in the hot tub together, relaxing his back & ML after. So he DOES think about sex sometimes. WOW. That's a change Telling me about it is an even bigger change. Waiting to rant about work till the next day...can't have everything, I guess.

I'm waiting for him to get that his yelling about D is an empty threat. Learn a new way to express himself. Like telling a little kid to "use your words" instead of kicking and screaming. That & if he's mad about the dog, work, crappy social events not to yell at me because I didn't cause it. If he still played racquetball it'd help a lot. Win a couple games, be happy & be too tired to dump on me.

We don't have a tit for tat with respect to ML. I don't think there's anything I could do that would be a trade-off for more sex. But sometimes there are things I do unknowingly that cause him to withhold,and not tell me what I did or that he's not ML because of it. Either I'm supposed to figure it out, or more likely, I just get to suffer & he gets the satisfaction of getting back at me without admitting what he's doing. "Normal marital sadism" like the PM book says. How good can you feel about yourself if you do stuff like that? I hope the book isn't as depressing as that part sounds.

And here we all are again, hoping for a good weekend. Keepin'my fingers crossed for all of us.
Jayce