So I did call her and confront her about her PA that she allegedly had back in the day. She was, of course, completely defensive and claimed that it wasn't true and wanted to know how I would believe my sister over her. I told her that the two of them used to be really good friends back then and told each other lots of stuff; for example, my sis was going through an affair of her own and would confide in my W what was going on, etc.
After a few minutes of heated exchange, my W flips out and says that she now wants a D, and that she can't take it any longer. She handed the phone to my MIL (who was staying over at her apartment at the time) and she tells me that the whole PA thing was a joke that she orchestrated to make me jealous at the time. She claims that once the news got back to me, I would confront her and she wanted to see if I would get mad or jealous for her. I told her that, if that was true, why didn't they clean it up 11 years ago when it obviously had failed? After all, if there was no truth to it, why would she let my entire family think that she had been unfaithful to me for all that time?
Bleh. I spoke with my MIL for about 2.5 hours and calmed down a lot. I still don't believe that nothing happened, but once my W calmed down, we did agree that staying together was still better than getting a D.
I hadn't really thought much about her since, until this morning when she called again. I had just come back from taking my boys for a doctor visit. My oldest and I are on anti-depressants and are doing very well. My S13 is starting to show the classic signs of depression, and I thought that maybe he should be on what we are taking. My W is adamant that he not take anything to help. When I pressed her, she seems to think that the pills that my S17 and I are taking are making us into zombies or something, and she doesn't want him to be like that.
I tried to explain that the stuff we are taking (Celexa) isn't habit-forming, or "zombifying" or anything like that, but she wouldn't have any part of that. Then she immediately started denigrating herself, saying that when she had suggested MC years ago that I had balked, but now that she abandoned us here I was rushing the whole family in C. I told her the C was for the kids and for me to help us deal with this sitch.
Then she wanted to fight... started complaining about the past: how for 18 years she fought for the family, felt alone, despondent, I was never there for her, why hadn't my S13 done anything together in the 3 months since she's been gone, etc. At that point, I had to put the phone down and walk away. I was being goaded into a fight and I don't want to fight with her. Talk, yes. Fight, no.
I think I'm going to give her a few days to cool off. My GAL activities are working for me and my obsessing about her is largely a thing of the past. I signed up for two classes at PCC for Spring Quarter, Latin and German 2. I want to show her that I am still true to my word about wanting to expand my German language skills, and that I do still think of a life together with her in Germany once this R is fixed.
Any and all prayers for us are greatly appreciated!
Me40 WAW37 M18 T20 S18,14 D13 EA Bomb 6/08 Sep 11/20/08 Ret 08/09 Sep/Filed 11/09
