First of all, good for you for looking after yourself with the STD testing, and hurray you're fine! I hope the apple pie was yummy!!
Mmmmmm--nights of toast and pickles ... gotta still be in love to put up with that! I liked the bit where he served up your batch cooking and figured he'd made dinner, too.
Okay, you've painted some good pictures of happy interactions, and I can see your (pre-MLC) H more clearly now. It really is shocking how they lose all those loveable qualities, isn't it? You mentioned that he is a very quiet guy; would you say that was able to express his emotions prior to 2006, or did he hold too much in? In many cases the MLCer does seem to be an emotionally stunted guy who isn't sufficiently aware of his emotions, and certainly is afraid to talk about them. My H used to claim he was a "very simple guy," implying he had far fewer emotional issues to deal with than others. I felt sure he was wrong ... and then I found out how very wrong! Now, when he's upset, instead of shutting down or pretending, he forces himself to talk about it, and he's not very good at it yet, but it means so much to me. (Thank you, C.) The whole never learning how to be emotionally open does seem to be a theme with these guys.
You might have some insight onto a question of mine. You say you don't like to be mauled too much. I'm sort of the same, though H is a mauler and I've learned to kind of like it. In my case, I start to cringe and get tense when other people have hug-fests, but I can't tell how much of that is to do with the abuse, or what I would have been like before that. My D has concerned me for a while, though, because she has never liked to be touched. She accepts a quick hug & kiss before bed, but if it goes on for more than a few seconds, she literally pushes us away. If I were to hurt myself, she might pat my shoulder, but that's about as touchy-feely as she gets. Her friends are always holding hands with each other, or putting arms around each other, but if they try it with her she quietly breaks out of it as quickly as possible. At the same time, she's very social and loves to be with friends. Sometimes I wonder how she'll ever stand being in a relationship with anyone when she's so hands-off, and wonder why she's always been this way. I guess I just want you to say, stop worrying mom, she sounds just fine to me!
