The D-word coming out I know does not help. It was in answer to her question about what happens if she can't give me what I am wanting though. It's been out there for a while anyway... I wish it wasn't out but too late for that now.
The way she worded the do more chores thing was like sex-for-chores which I won't do. It's the covert contract thing from NMMNG and just gets you into trouble when you tit-for-tat like that. Besides I am doing a ton of stuff around here now. Cooking almost every night and even helping out with the laundry and stuff.
The huge mistake I made was when she turned me down and said she was planning to do a bunch of house work, I should have just said, "Ok maybe we can fool around next Wednesday. What can I do to help you today?" I don't know why I blew up like I did, I even surprised myself when I just erupted like that. It was like taking all of the progress and good things we have accomplished together and just throwing them away.
Yesterday I asked W if we could just forget what was said that it was just me lashing out in anger mainly over still no job. I told her I love how we are towards one another now. Saturday night was wonderful, so wonderful I wanted this again and again. We did have a good day yesterday so I'm hopeful I haven't derailed our talking and finding our way back.
I'm afraid the good old horizontal 69 is the best I can hope for. If any acrobatic positions happen I'll be sure to report them with a stick figure diagram though.
I'm afraid the good old horizontal 69 is the best I can hope for. If any acrobatic positions happen I'll be sure to report them with a stick figure diagram though.
You guys are so funny. You know now that I remember???, My stomach muscles were sore after that acrobatic sexual escapade. LOL~ Ali
No worrys on the extra posts. I am doing better today just felt like I shot myself in the foot Wednesday...
I went on a job interview this morning. It would be a great job except... 2nd shift and I would work alone, rats. It's a telco tech spot downtown, the pay would be very good and has benefits. I'd be on call 24/7 every 5 week too.
Worse thing is I would miss my D's senior year stuff for marching band. Also I'd have to quit my band too.. not sure I want to give that up.
Bad part is there is not much hope of getting off that 2nd shift. The whole place only has 5 techs. 3 on 1st, 1 on 2nd and 1 on 3rd. I feel like I can't afford to turn it down if I get an offer for the job. We'll see what find of offer I get and go from there.
I am doing better today just felt like I shot myself in the foot Wednesday...
Hope your foot heals. I have shot myself in the foot so much ...ugh. Thank God I am flexible though huh? LMAO. I know that you will know what to do Cinco re the job and Mrs Cinco. I have faith in you, you just need smidge of that faith too. Love, Ali
Sorry, Cinco. I didn't mean to make you feel beat up. The only one here who yells about D is my H. He did it again after last weekend which was a bust cuz he got mad about something the dog did & then the Sat. nite event was pretty bad. Sulked for 3 days.
D threat with him seems like he's either testing to see if I'll take him up on it, (like how much can he get away with, or how hurt/angry I am), or he's saying something like if he has to be nice all the time he'd rather be divorced. Either way, I ignore it because taking the bait would be a second argument. A diversion from the point. After a couple days, he lightens up and may initiate. And he doesn't go back to the beginning of all this, but wherever we left off in improving the approach. That's interesting. It tells me he's trying & not as clueless as he says. Wed. nite he wanted to ML but ranted about work awhile first. I asked him what he was thinking about on the way home & he said he was thinking about going in the hot tub together, relaxing his back & ML after. So he DOES think about sex sometimes. WOW. That's a change Telling me about it is an even bigger change. Waiting to rant about work till the next day...can't have everything, I guess.
I'm waiting for him to get that his yelling about D is an empty threat. Learn a new way to express himself. Like telling a little kid to "use your words" instead of kicking and screaming. That & if he's mad about the dog, work, crappy social events not to yell at me because I didn't cause it. If he still played racquetball it'd help a lot. Win a couple games, be happy & be too tired to dump on me.
We don't have a tit for tat with respect to ML. I don't think there's anything I could do that would be a trade-off for more sex. But sometimes there are things I do unknowingly that cause him to withhold,and not tell me what I did or that he's not ML because of it. Either I'm supposed to figure it out, or more likely, I just get to suffer & he gets the satisfaction of getting back at me without admitting what he's doing. "Normal marital sadism" like the PM book says. How good can you feel about yourself if you do stuff like that? I hope the book isn't as depressing as that part sounds.
And here we all are again, hoping for a good weekend. Keepin'my fingers crossed for all of us. Jayce
me: 66 H:60 2 adult sons 2 grandsons adult daughter deceased 5/05 me:Part time trainer H: plant suprv.
Telling me about it is an even bigger change.