Getting time alone. It's funny, because H has always seemed so concerned about me taking a break. And I felt just fine, like I wasn't sitting here needing one. But it just fell on me, I guess. I do need a break from my little treasure. I got exasperated this morning as I was trying to put together a tedious project and he would stop whining and inserting himself in between me and the table. I looked at him and said, "What, what, what????" sharply. He looked heartbroken and I had to stop everything and hug him. And then I think, "Oh God. That stuff does damage. Even just a LOOK can do damage." And then I realized I'm at the end of my rope.
I moved here for my career when I was 26. My family is all over the place, but none are here. My friends all work. I have one really great friend, who is spiritual and has been on quite a journey of her own, that lives nearby. She is the one person that offers. I've only taken her up on it once. But, I think she's the one to ask. She absolutely loves the baby. I don't want to get into everything with an SOS, so I'll just ask her if she can watch him tomorrow. The baby and I are visiting a friend for her 40th birthday tonight after she gets off work. Must shake it off and get my "Happy Birthday" face on. (Insert "Boss" from Fantasy Island: "Smiles everyone. Smiles.")
Feeling better after my shower (in which I sobbed and blew boogers down the drain).
