The D-word coming out I know does not help. It was in answer to her question about what happens if she can't give me what I am wanting though. It's been out there for a while anyway... I wish it wasn't out but too late for that now.
The way she worded the do more chores thing was like sex-for-chores which I won't do. It's the covert contract thing from NMMNG and just gets you into trouble when you tit-for-tat like that. Besides I am doing a ton of stuff around here now. Cooking almost every night and even helping out with the laundry and stuff.
The huge mistake I made was when she turned me down and said she was planning to do a bunch of house work, I should have just said, "Ok maybe we can fool around next Wednesday. What can I do to help you today?" I don't know why I blew up like I did, I even surprised myself when I just erupted like that. It was like taking all of the progress and good things we have accomplished together and just throwing them away.
Yesterday I asked W if we could just forget what was said that it was just me lashing out in anger mainly over still no job. I told her I love how we are towards one another now. Saturday night was wonderful, so wonderful I wanted this again and again. We did have a good day yesterday so I'm hopeful I haven't derailed our talking and finding our way back.
I'm afraid the good old horizontal 69 is the best I can hope for. If any acrobatic positions happen I'll be sure to report them with a stick figure diagram though.
