You may have needed to physically detach for your sanity and in order to emotionally detach. However, it does sound like going dark did make it easier for her to move on and leave. She didn't have to question what she was leaving behind because the door felt closed.
BTW, I think the reason OM called that one time when she was having dinner with you is because he probably felt a little jealous and threatened. If this had turned out to be a positive experience she might have left questioning her decision a little more.
I strongly disagree. These forums are FILLED with examples of how "being nice" does -- at best -- NOTHING to change the wayward's behavior, and -- at worst -- just emboldens them and makes the betrayed spouse feel like crap for having their boundaries violated.
He did the right thing. The "nice" was the dinner, and his wife knows that, and she knows she blew it by taking that call.
