hey Arthuer, they just have a different set of values. they are inder the i,pression that they did nothing wrong by putting an end to the marriage and also think that the kids will handle it. that is my experience....again it is just plain selfishness. You think that she will lokk bad in front of the other moms...she probably feels like she is bragging and the other moms envy her freedom. they are in another world or they would not have acted the way they did and continue to.
Yeah, your right IMO John. I just kinda journal and see if people respond in the same way I think of it as you kindly have. Just trying to maintain my own strengh and dignity and act in the interest of what is best for my boys at all times.
That is all you can do Arthur. I know your sons are young but kids are sponges and are affected by the way you handle things in general. Kepp up the nice work.
So saw my sols yesterday and I really like the guy. He deals with all that is immediately necessary, explains things really clearly, doesn't make any promises, just gives the facts as the are and how we can address each hurdle and that is all I can ask for really. So signed the court papers, but he pointed out she has asked me to pay her costs…WTF, thought (and she did all this moving money about, getting off joint accounts to get it) getting legal aid !! So, he is saying I'm not doing that and questioning the fact that to my knowledge she is getting legal aid. Also, to update the divorce petition as it's so out of date, plus there were a couple of mistakes in it. He did say I'm doing everything right at this point and has said that although legally she has claims on what I still have to this point as not yet divorced, my redundancy for arguments sake, he feels we could argue has happened since we seperated and I need that money to live on until I find another job, then to buy a property to have my boys, all of which is tough in the current economic climate.
So, nothing is ever great when you speak to a sols from the man's side when there are children involved (not being sexist as I can see that women get stitched up to ALA GM), but generally speaking. However, I am glad I saw him and he is going to get things moving as STBX and her sols seemed to have basically stopped doing anything.
Got a night out tonight for my leaving this office, then boys lunchtime Sat til lunchtime Sunday so I can't wait to get out of here today…..Fun times !!!!
Another great weekend. Friday night was awesome, out with some different people which means different places and different personalities and senses of humour. Met MOT35 and spent night round hers (well, got kicked out at 7am when she panics that someone might turn up...lol), so went home and back to bed til 11am. Up for some breakfast, get dressed and collect my boys. We went to the park, met my niece from her horse riding and had a lovely time there (nicest weather this year), then back to my mums and nephew and sister came round so all the kids played in the garden and I cahtter to my mum and sis some. Needed some bit so took the kids for a McD's as next to supermarket and pleasently surprised that I could have a melt and wedges instead of burger....not keen on burgers, they rot my stomach...lol. Back home, relaxing time with boys and then S2 to bed at 7 whilst S6, his nan and I watched HSM3 and then he went to be about 8.30. I then watched TV with my mum for an hour before going to bed myself about 10 and woken at 6.30 for cuddles and TV in bed with my boys.
Sunday we had a bit of play, then took S6 to his acting/dancing class and S2 and me to park and footy for an hour, then picked up S6 and dropped them round a friends where their mum was.
Really had a great time and leaving work shortly where they are meeting me as normal at my mums who picked them up today. I love them more every second I spend with them and I even now still get my emotional moments where I can't believe I won't get to see them every day of their young lives. For that I will always feel bad, but I feel free from the stress and pressure put on me for a long time and know that once this is all done, I', settled in my own place and have a proper routine in my own life, that things will be great for us all.
Life is good (do I sound like a parrot there ????)
Think I've got another cold coming !!! Doh. This weather changing all the time seems to really do me in.
I seemed to have a bit of a lapse last night for no apparent reason. Felt quite stressed after work, not much doing, nobody telling us what's going on with out jobs and still not doing much at all which drives me nuts. Had my boys which was great but have to take them home early as S2 is going through the dropping his lunchtime nap phase so needs to be in bed by 7 so I lose an hour of my time with them. Went home and just felt empty for some reason. Also feeling stressed for no real reason and just plain down. Had bit of a silly quarrel with MOT35 all evening to which didn't really help and just felt trapped in my mums house. No energy to go for a run (cold I think) so did some food shopping and then fell asleep about 9.30 for an hour. Woke up and not heard from MOT35 so tried to ring and sent a text but no reply but she rang back about 11.15 and all is cool, just us being a bit silly. I do get like this sometimes, can't explain it, think it's a little stress time where I should really go and do something and just switch off my phone.
Still feeling bit poorly and down this morning so will try and go for a run when I get home and do a few things that need doing to take my mind off things for a bit.
you know the deal A..normal cycling....it's probably just the start of the week blues...work stress, GF stress...just deal with it..GAL and move forward..
Yeah, I know Mike. I am generally bad on Sundays and sometimes Mondays. Nothing much happens and I get bored very easily, like to be a busy person.
I know what I need to do now, I just need to get myself back in gear and do it. Sort of had my list of things for 2009 and have got some done then stopped so must crack on again
Been away as had internet removed at work and just realised I can get into this site somehow.
Strange week for me. Found out Monday not being made redundant, which I was 99.9% sure I would be but so many opted for early leave that I stayed on by default. Was really dissapointed as don't want to work for this company anymore, but getting my head round it because : Got given an ipod from MOT35 Monday pm so arranged to go round a friends Tuesday night to download songs etc. He is my best mates brother who I know really well and also live with his Uncle who I aslo know really well as known them since I was 4. Anyway, I'm sorting the ipod in my mates bedroom when his Uncle comes in and says 'Do you know anyone who wants a room to stay ?' and I'mlike, 'yeah !!!...Me ???'. So after finishing my ipod, I go have a chat and am basically moving in next weekend. Really good deal and he's given up his room for me and having the smaller room himself so there is space for my boys to stay over. Comes with a King size bed and a 42" plasma on the wall with all the channels…..Happy days.
Thing going really well with MOT35 right now. Been seeing a bit more of her, been round hers a couple of time after like 9pm when her kids in bed and we went out on Sunday for an afternoon together. Got my sisters house to look after this weekend for 3 nights so bit of space, then only few more nights back at my mums. Think my mum is a little upset tbh, just a few comments including, oh, that's nice, moving out on mothers day !!!! Bless her. Slightly different reactions from step dad ….lol
Hope your all well, will try and catch up again now I know I can get on here.
