Very optimistic about my own happiness. Not so optimistic about H's journey and his way back home or his way out of his self-imposed misery and moral dilemma. So wondering if it is nearly time to remove ourselves. Don't know. Hate to give up, it's just not me. But don't want to do what my aunt did. She waited ten years for my uncle to come home. He never did and he had an affair with her sister in the meantime...
I think you as always continue to have a great attitude. My H is in the fog too, usually texting OW rather than focusing on the kids. I do think at some point they'll resurface a bit out of the fog hopefully, but what a shame to miss part of your life like that!!! And your kids!!! But they are doing that to themselves.
I don't think you have to give up. I won't until final D papers are signed. Although like you mention, I honestly think the kids and I are happier without him. He tends to be distant or angry and ruined any PMA I could have.
I think you do have to make decisions focused on you and your kids, and not your H. I mean you're married to an addict, so you have to do that. I do think there is prob. really like 50/50 chance of your H coming back, flip a coin, and you shouldn't remain in limbo waiting to see which it will be. From my time here I have to say that those who seemed to drop the rope and start making plans without their WAS, sometimes seems to shock the WAS into realizing the LBS is moving on and jolting them back to reality. But you have to make changes/choices for you and your family, not focused on your H. Karen
