Hey, this is the place to vent!!! We all vent here from time-to-time and geez, with all we go through, of course we do!!!
Vicky, I agree with Kat. I had a period of time early during the separation where I didn't tell anyone and then they would ask me how H was and what was he doing b/c he wasn't there, etc. So I was having to make stuff up like he was at work instead of with OW!!! I felt a lot better when I started being able to be honest and truthful. Everyone was very supportive. At first people did treat me like I had cancer, lots of pats on the back and concern, but that has gone away and now people are more normal with me. I do try to just tell close friends and family and not passing acquaintances, but sometimes I do, and darned if they haven't been through the same thing as me. And give me more support. Anyway, just think honesty in limited doses is prob. the best policy, but do what makes you most comfortable.
Don't focus on the OW and how much they are in love. I think from my time here, it usually seems more like an addiction, and within 6 months to 2 years, betcha it wears off and reality sinks in. Some of OW's good qualities he describes sound a bit controlling to me, and might wear on his nerves after a while! I personally believe that OP for one, don't have usually as good morals and values as the LBS have, not as much faithful or loyalty. You know if they'll cheat with your H, they might cheat with anyone in the future. So if you're looking at that as the foundation of a R, it doesn't seem very positive. The OW in my sitch has been married 3 times and cheated on her 3rd with my H. Both married and with kids. Do I think that R will last? Nah, but too bad. I just focus on me and the kids. I realized at some point I deserve to have a nice, faithful loving guy. So do you!!!
I am a huge believer in GALing. I keep so busy doing stuff with me and the kids that I don't have much time to focus on OP. Plus when you're GALing a lot, I find you get more self confidence and optimism too and positive feedback from others you're GALing with. So what GALing are you doing lately? Karen
