Last night my wife and I talked after dinner at some length. The conversation was not realionship based at all though. It was in regard to her buisness, I offered to help out in any way i could with maintanence tasks and such. Basically that I would help out in any way I can. She was friendly and receptive about this.
Yesterday was also my sons parent teacher conference. My son was recomended to see the school counselor after my wife had told his teacher that we would be separating. The counselor was present at the meeting and discussed my son. In his own 7yr. old way with drawings he is expressing his pain. She said that he feels dead inside. Might heart was breaking!!!!!!!!
My wife and I have not told the kids yet that we will be separating. It's really devestating because the is more love and harmony in the house than there has ever been. This feeling/tone has been this way since I made my own personal 180 over a month ago when she dropeed the the bomb that she wanted the separation. I beleive its the tone I have been setting that yelling, name calling etc. would not be accepted in any way in the house any more. My wife sort of lives in her own little world where when she comes home from work I have already picked up my older son from school, helped him with homework and have begun to prepare dinner. She comes in with my younger son, says hi and then goes into the living room puts on her ipod and sits down in the rocking chair until dinner is ready. She doesn't really interact with anyone because the kids will be watching tv while I continue to cook, but if me or the kids want to say anything to her you have to go and tap her because she plays the music so loud that she can't hear anyone.
Then when dinner is done I clean the kitchen and do the dishes while she once again goes back to her chair and ipod. Then when I get done with dinner I go out to the living room and help the boys get jammies on and brush teeth. Then I put them in bed and read them a story. After that I go out to the living room to watch a show while she sits in her chair and goes on the computer. She occassionally will watch a show with me.
I don't know how to be around her, I don't know what my bounderies are with her. I just act as if I am positive and friendly. When I do talk to her i occasionally will give her a few rubs on her back or arm, nothing overly affectionate, i am just that way by nature. I like to touch people in a friendly manner, you know like when you see someone you know I will touch there arm and say hi, that kind of thing. Is this kind of physical contact with her a bad idea or should I not do it anymore. I have also stopped saying I love you to her, but the times that I have said it to her since she told me she wants the separation she said she loves me also what does that mean, but I do occasionally give her a hug, which I initiate. shoulod I stop show any physical affection, ie. hugs, rubs on her back. By the way she NEVER initiates this kind of contact, but when I have asked her if the contact that I do show her is alright she says its ok. I told her that if she ever feels like she needs a hug that I am always there to give her one.
