When I used to spend too much time reading about mlc and trying to udnerstand it, something very very critical for young girls become very very clear. Dad's that don't keep their little princess on a pedastal can do damage that will follow girls for life. Too often they enter into a M assuming their new H will fill the void dad never satisfied. It is something we guys don't understand and we fail because of what we don't understand. It is often suspected to be the early embedded trigger for a woman's future mlc.
If your D is getting dad's attention, that is good for both of them and something to be valued. Something for them to understand as valuable to both of them for life. No one can take it away or should try. She needs to know how well you understand, how important it is to you that she and her dad always maintain that relationship.
She needs to understand that it might keep her from going into a future M with baggage that a H won't know how to handle. She will begin to have new men in her life in the coming years that will distract her from dad. Dad and d should enjoy "their" time while they have it. She should be recognized and appreciated for what she has/continues to do for him at home. Can't put a price on father/daughter dances, field trips, and quality time in these years. She also needs to learn there are bonds for you and H to maintain. H needs to know he won't be alone when she is grown and gone. When she is off in her own life she won't want dad to be alone. That would leave her feeling very guilty.
The three of you need to communicate the importance of their time, their roles, and care should be taken to comit to that. She needs to communicate when she feels valued, and when she feels threatened. She should expect her family to work through it respecting her position as equal in importance. Teach her skills she can't get from dad alone. Show her the respect some stepmoms/gfriends won't offer. She'll come around and love you more for it.
