I try to stay ahead of the curve where my daughter is concerned. I used to get very aggravated with her but then I read up on the subject so as to understand the dynamic better. On the occasions when she and I have talked about it I have reassured her that her relationship with her Dad is indeed very special and no one can change that, not even me, and I don't even want to. The tricky part has been the times she has tried to situate herself into our plans - such as the night of the Lynyrd Skynyrd concert back in January. Both of us put her right in her place firmly but lovingly and once we did that, she was fine and went and stayed with her aunt without any further problems. Then the next day when we told her all about the show and how we had talked about taking her with us the next time she was acting like any other daughter would act with her parents. For her, it's been either one authority figure or the other but over the last 2 years both of our relationships with her have changed. While his is a little overly enmeshed in my opinion, it's nothing that can't slowly be made more healthy and balanced. In this dynamic, my girl takes priority and Jeff tends to follow my lead, which is determined by whatever manner her issue is presenting itself outwardly. It's a juggle for sure but it can be done. In the past my challenge has been not to get pissed at her but I'm so laid back these days I almost can't believe it myself. I am watchful and aware but otherwise not overly concerned. My concern today is that if she pitches a fit tonight Jeff will get mad at her because he just doesn't understand the psychology of it all.
I swear of all we have been through, if we actually manage to manuever this field full of landmines with D13 we might take a moment to stand back and be impressed with ourselves one day !
!
