Nope he has not worn his ring for several years. He has it on his key ring. Touching huh? Supposedly there was some near accident at work that made him stop wearing it. RME
I hadn't thought about him noticing or not, but he noticed almost immediately. I was doing dishes. He said you took your ring off... is there something going on that I don't know about? I said like what? He said well I don't know if I don't know about it.
It doesn't matter. I didn't take it off for him, I took it off for me. ...and it doesn't even feel as weird as I thought it would.
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011
there just comes a time when it feels more weird to wear it than to take it off. that time is different for each person, but you know when you have reached it.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
Nope he has not worn his ring for several years. He has it on his key ring. Touching huh? Supposedly there was some near accident at work that made him stop wearing it. RME
I hadn't thought about him noticing or not, but he noticed almost immediately. I was doing dishes. He said you took your ring off... is there something going on that I don't know about? I said like what? He said well I don't know if I don't know about it.
It doesn't matter. I didn't take it off for him, I took it off for me. ...and it doesn't even feel as weird as I thought it would.
Later on I asked him if he thought the reason I took my ring off was becasue I was seeing someone and he said he just didn't know what to think. Then he said I suppose I should just ask, are you seeing someone? and I truthfully said no I am not.
I was actually surprised at his reation... it did jolt him a bit. Not enough to change his mind about wanting a D, but like I said I was surprised he even noticed.
I did not remove it to get a reaction from him though. I removed it to see how I would feel.
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011
He is not honest and open about his Rs with other women. There is no reason for you to be honest and open with him. This doesn't mean you need to follow his example and lie. But, really, there is no reason for you to share your personal life with him.
Try to stop being more into the R than he is. It is destructive in multiple ways.
I like OT's response, but add a big smile and say 'honey, it's not your business anymore' when he asks something and leave the room.
I wore my ring 24/7 and took my ring off to get a reaction from H. Duh. That didn't work. I eventually put it back on. Then I took it off a 2nd time for me, to help me let go. That was 3 years ago, the mark on my finger is almost gone but not on my heart.
Less than 3 months to go, is H looking for new places for his relocation?
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
No we do not have money for him to have a place. He will be living 24/7 in 14x7 berthing that he will share with another guy. At least he does get the bottom bunk. I don't imagine it will be anytime at all until some lonely woman in a bar takes him home to live with her.
Yes I liked ot's response too, however I never know what to say at the time and usually get it wrong.
No matter... I stopped in the bar to have my H buy me a drink last night. C and I had talked about this and she thought it was a good chance for me to catch him being good or a good chance for me to maybe get the wake up call I need to do what I need to do.. He was out of town all day and I had a gnawing feeling that he would go to happy hour before coming home. To my pleasant surprise bfh's car was not in the parking lot so I thought I was going to catch him being good. WRONG! There she was sitting right next to him at the bar. If nothing else the look on her face was worth the price of admission. She immediately gathered all her things and scurried away like a rat in the garbage. I did pretty good keeping my cool for the most part. I could have been a little less sarcastic maybe, BUT I also could have been a LOT more so!!! What I rally wanted to do was show my butt and call her (and him) out in front of all their co-workers. But I didn't, I should get some credit for that.
He leaves tomorrow for 7 weeks. Any weekends that he comes home I plan to have a friend to go visit.
I know I have made a horrible mess of db'ing. For that I am sorry, but I can not continue to pretend and be invisible.
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011
Did you still get a drink??? I would have needed several!!! I am so sorry you were not able to "catch him being good". I know how disappointing that was! (((NNP)))
