On 2/13/09 my W told me she wants a D. ILYBNILWY. It's over. Done. No going back. Etc. Electronic EA. Reasons (original and updated during R talks:) Asked for counseling many times, I blew it off, pushed her away, life w/me is misery, everyone says they never understood why she married me, there's nothing left, black hole, now not even ILYBNILWY but "I have no feelings for you whatsoever except for the anger that you're making me go to counseling."
Still in same home, separate rooms, separate schedules. 2 kids 9/6.
My family: Sorry, but parents stay for the kids. Her family (according to W): We'll support you no matter what.
MC one time (this week), scheduled for next week.
My C says "stop making excuses for her" because I acknowledged the validity of her statements.
I'm making changes, real changes. But no opportunity for W to see them, because she stays at work until she knows that I'll be asleep; plans weekend work activities so she can get out of house, etc.
And she just keeps saying, "If you really loved me you'd let me go. I'll never love you again. You're just making this hard on everyone." And etc.
And it sounds reasonable in an intellectual sense. Of course you'd let someone be happy if that was what you were really interested in.
In our R talks (phone), I make my position clear: I intend to fight. I see a future, regardless of the present and regardless of the past. She makes her position clear: I don't -- that's it, we're irreconcilable.
And that sounds reasonable in an intellectual sense.
So what do you do when everything that goes against what you want, feel, know sounds reasonable and so, logically, you must be unreasonable?
