I've been reading, I was where you are, I'm so sorry you are hurting. I desperately wanted answers and did so right up until about Christmas of this year... but that was a year after he had left. You wont get them. Everyone told me that and I didnt believe them...
Dont listen to your C! I had 14 months of C and they were very helpful to me and for me, but when it came to him, yes some say, walk away, some say, clearly he is depressed and wont be able to give you anything.. I dont know but the advice varied... the only T that helped and was spot on was the DB coach, Jody, who has counselled 3000 couples and has epxerience with men in MLC and /or with depression. She has been very astute and wise.
You need to look at yourself and work on yourself whilst you keep waiting if you want to wait for him. Stop asking for explanations/answers, he probabky hasnt got them! GIve him the space he asks for and trust that the answers will come om time, but not for a very very long time.
My ex told me IDLYA... its over, for good, I'm 100% sure.. I'm certain.. etc. NOt even ILYBINILWYA.. just IDLYA. 15 months later he still emails me every few days and last month I finally heard that he had told his best friend that he doesnt know why he left, thre was no reason, he jist thinks he had a MLC, that he misses me and ow doesnt 'get him' like I did, its not right with her like it was with me... if I knew back after the bomb that I would have to wait 14 months to hear that, I would never have believed it !!!!
You dont know what he's thinking, or why hes acting this way, he probably doesnt either.. but time will tell, and lots of it!!!!
Take care of yourself, stop asking/crying/pushing.. give him the space he is asking for and be patient, forgiving and wait and see.
Al x
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
