Innocent

[Jayce]

You guys are hilarious! I'm an ol' broad & I got the picture right away. Not so sure that'd work real well w/a bottom-heavy chick. Probably keep tipping over. Need to find a narrow-hipped gymnastic type.

How long did it take to make that drawing? I can't draw to begin with & using a keyboard makes it impossible.

Since no one seems to remember the '82 recession judging by the national news lately, I'll draw you a picture, so to speak. (a little dry humor here) My H was laid off several months twice during that period & I was once. Luckily not both at the same time. All 3 kids still living at home working part time & going to college, Jr. college & HS full time. My H grocery shopped, did errands, vacuumed, cleaned bathrooms, took out trash, did the yard work, cooked and even baked brownies, muffins, etc. simply by reading the instructions on the box. He'd never done any baking before. The rest of us still had bedrooms to clean & laundry to do, but he did the whole house-husband thing along with his job hunting. He did it on his own. I never asked him to.

While not exactly foreplay, ya think I loved it? A lot? Being gone 9 or 10 hours a day & worrying about keeping it together on one income would have been even more stressful it I'd had to try to get all the other stuff done on weekends.

Cinco, I know it was a disappointing turndown for you. After 2 good weekends, you were pumped. I used to want to fool around a lot on weekends when H wasn't working. Kids would be out all day. The perfect budget entertainment, right? Fun and free. But mentally he was worrying about not having a job & couldn't get into ML much. I was thinking of it as closenesss and relaxing each other through that intimacy. Mars & Venus in different orbits. (Don't bother me now, I'm WORRYING!)

I'd think the message she got from your blow up a couple weeks ago is still fresh & doesn't need updating. The vasectomy took away one worry for her. Think she might be a little overwhelmed w/working full time and still having the house chores to do after being home all day for so long with a lot of time to get it all done? Soooo..... Maybe take an hour or two every day or so and keep that stuff up so she'll have less of it do do.

The thing about threatening divorce if someone doesn't have sex more often, initiate it, enjoy it, and perform with enthusiasm twice a week, spontaneously AND in the very near future is like the cowboy shooting at a guy's feet and ordering him to dance. You think he did a perfect waltz and moved right on into a slick tango? You think he suddenly loved to dance & did it every chance he got?

Once the D word is out there its always hanging over your heads. Might be better to say you can't live like this indefinitely. You need to be able to hope for positive change. You know it will be gradual, but you need to see steady progress. And what can you do to help facilitate that change?

We all already know what kind of sexual experiences we have when we've pushed, intimidated, threatened, or laid guilt trips on our spouses. The weekly obligatory charity f**k isn't really what we want in the long term. Neither is them just going thru the motions, not being into it because we know it isn't coming from genuine desire.

So, "Honey, Sweetie, what can I do to help you feel desire?" Man, you guys have read my rants, screams, tears, and total bitch insanity when I'm feeling hopeless you can't imagine I am able to think about that kind of question...and I've gotten few really good answers, but I know threats aren't gonna get me where I wanna go. The LD is their problem. The best we can do is offer to help them with it. Feeling underf**ked is our problem & their not gonna want to help us w/it if we're shootin' at their feet all the time. We're better & smarter people than that.

OK, so I have to somehow stand on my hands ... can I sorta lean on his chest? Then form a V....... OK, more core body exercises, lots more,definitely.
Jayce