my father got sober but the first time, he thought that "not drinking" meant he wasn't an alcoholic and was all better. He relapsed. Then he got sober and entered a program for recovery and then he got a lot better, and then we had a real relationship. Sadly, by that time, he did not have long to live and the damage his drinking had done to his body led to liver cancer and he passed away after only a few years of sobriety...But I'm grateful for those years, as I am for the first 8 years before he began drinking heavily.
The difference is that there is a lot more to recovery than just not drinking. But that first part, being sober, has to happen before any of the other good stuff.
Also the fourth step for my dad, (in AA and yes, I'm biased in favor of it, but am disclosing...) was a deal breaker for him the first time...taking a fearless moral inventory of the damage they've done and making amends, was just too damn hard for him (should not be called "fearless" cuz it is so scary...but anyhow...)
Taking responsibility for their actions, drunk or not, sick or not, is a HUGE crucial terrifying thing to do. If they/we can get thru that, there's some real hope and I have so much respect for those who have...
I hope no matter what happens to your M, Kass, that you can support him in his recovery. Your kids will thank you for it someday.
(( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
