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"My father thinks he is just trying to pull me back in his drama."

Once again, it's really not about you, Trusting. It sounds as if he is finally having to face the damage that he caused.

Did he discuss his emotions, any regrets about the situation?


M: 16 years
Bomb 4/07
OW 20s long gone
Divorced 11/09
I remarried New Guy
Cooperative r w/X regarding D

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Posts: 2,549
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He just said that he does not sleep.

He thinks alot about his childhood.

He gets physically ill when he comes to the house.

He wanted to know if I had any ideas regarding his situation...

that was a first.


Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11

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"He gets physically ill"--why not ask him what would make him more comfortable?

"He blames all his financial problems on the economy."
Maybe not entirely untrue. But not the whole story, either. As the others said, he knows some of this is his own fault.

No, don't bring up his money spent. He may tell you more at some point if you are nonjudgmental.

If he was comfortable talking with you, something tells me you will hear from him again. And I am betting he will not take you back to court because that is more $.


M: 16 years
Bomb 4/07
OW 20s long gone
Divorced 11/09
I remarried New Guy
Cooperative r w/X regarding D

Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 2,549
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I hope you are right Breton. I don't want to go back to court.
It is so emotionally draining.


Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,666
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this is trusting. it is.
it is like just about the time we can breathe again - something else pops up...and so often (as brenton has shown) we think it is about "US" when it really isn't.

dealing with so much sh**! Growth, healing all of it..sometimes i know why the mlc'r runs. this is harder. much harder... but i have to believe that in the end we are better off for it.

doesn't your state have laws? like don't htey have to at least wait a few years before htey can go back to court? i dont even think nc does.. ugh. it is never over.

i read your post about your son. about the play. that was so awesome..and i do believe you will have more awesome in your life.....looking forward to hearing you share.


M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06
Moved out 3/12/07
D final 7/30/2008
finding myself again


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Ex found out kids told me about the suicide statements, having no food in the house, etc....

He was livid with them and told them "they were babies going to their mama".

I can't believe the man he has turned into.......


Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11

Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 5,369
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Quote:
I can't believe the man he has turned into.......


I feel the same about my H.

What I find even harder to understand is how people like his mother can continue to encourage him to be this way.


Me 43
XH 45
M 2.7.88
Divorce 7.10.09
Kids D20,S17 & D15
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I am right there with you. mine has remained passive.... he was pretty mean to me this summer--- but he is a player of words. best for me to just stay away...and grow..........

sorry he is being an A** and really glad that your kids have you - the constant safe place.


M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06
Moved out 3/12/07
D final 7/30/2008
finding myself again


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Probably embarrassed. He's not done baking yet. I think the temperature sounds as if it is pretty hot right now.


M: 16 years
Bomb 4/07
OW 20s long gone
Divorced 11/09
I remarried New Guy
Cooperative r w/X regarding D

Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 2,549
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i agree


Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11

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