I don't think I answered one of your questions about residual anger sabotaging any chance at reconciliation.
I definitely believe that residual anger may kill many marriages; and there was a time where it would have killed mine if I had let it. But I don't feel any anger and I wonder why. Am I NOT normal? Of all the things that my W has done; why am I not angry as hell? She has said and I have agreed; that being on the path to D is whole lot easier when we hate each other.
Don't get me wrong; I have had anger, lots of it. However, it has subsided over time. But it was anger that pushed me to detachment and ultimately made me happier. It forced me to get out of my shell and start living. The secretary at work commented recently that I am like completely different person since the separation. She said that I'm like a little kid now; happy and living like there's no tomorrow. Has that made the anger toward what my W has done disappear? I haven't forgotten what she's done; and I don't want exposure to that behavior again. But now her recent comments and that absence of any anger has opened up my heart to try again and I'm scared as hell about it. I'm scared that I'm being misled again, or played.
