Just keep swimming...PH #5

[pearlharbr]

I started this long and detailed response to Gucci and Puppy, but I really don't have the heart to finish it right now.

It's been a bit of a rough afternoon/evening. Took my cats to the vet today. Little girl E is perfectly fine, big boy W is kitty obese and has gained a LOT of weight since last year. More bloodwork shows some problems but no explanations. So it's not terrible news, but I feel like a terrible kitty mom because I can't get his weight under control and he will likely develop health problems like obese people have: diabetes, joint damage, strain on his heart, etc.

Those of you non-pet people probably don't understand (I didn't before I got these guys) but W is my baby. I'm not having kids so he's my family. And I feel awful that he could be hurting and there's not much I can do about it.

Now I'm sitting here crying because this is the first time I have really, truly missed xBF. I want him to tell me I'm doing the best I can for W and we'll figure out what's causing his weight issue before he develops more problems.

I know it's probably because of the emotions brought up by this stupid letter and I know I can handle this on my own. But in this moment I want to have a partner to share the burden with, I want the person who's supposed to be here for me. Perhaps I just miss the idea of having someone and not xBF in particular. Not sure.

I've already resisted the temptation to pick up the phone and talk to him about this. Just need to get through it.