I have been told to expect this kind of behavior from XW once she realized our M wasn't a bad one at all. Having talked with her a lot about this, her main motivation for walking away is she felt I didn't love her and didn't want me to make the first move. Truth is, I loved her dearly and part of me still does. I just didn't show it well with all the stresses we had in our lives at that time.
When she had her A and walked out I fought with all I had for 3 months to get her back. She didn't see it this way. She thought I just gave up on her. Her blinders must have been on at that point because I don't think I've ever tried harder at anything than to try to get her back. Unfortunately, it was a balancing act of trying to show her I could be the man she wants and not condoning her A. It didn't work, and after a while I'd had enough.
I know the right thing to do is let XW deal with her loss and move on. I think she wants back right now out of fear, regret, and guilt. She needs to be stable before I should even consider working things out.
It just hurts me to see her like this. She's not eating, taking anxiety meds, and sobs whenever we talk. However, this week she appears to be improving.
