I can do the detachment talks if i know what the questions are.
{{p}} DA is not the same as NC, DA allows for a contact with a focus point. DA is listening to what is said and controlling your reaction. DA is responding as you would a friend (without the benefits), a reasonable response that avoids falling into familiar traps or negative behaviors. HAving a response to the letter is reasonable and expected behavior. Your response is up to you. Timing is up to you.
{{Silva}}
CAlling your W out because she is not giving you the whole truth doesn't count - it was reasonable response to a situation that needed to be addressed.
Here's an ex from alanon that I thought expressed it in a somewhat humorous way:
if your S passes out drunk on the floor next to the bed and you pick him up,put him in bed and tuck him in - you are enabling. (the opposite of DA)
if you S passes out drunk on the floor next to the bed and you leave him there and just step over him when necessary - you are ignoring him.(not dealing with it at all)
if your S passes out drunk on the floor next to the bed and you throw a blanket over him - that's DA.
Everyone got it? Good!
Doesn't quite say to do if you are the one passed out drunk on the floor though.....
