In desperate need of advice, separation looming!

[MrBond]

I understand that you don't want to talk about this other guy, but if you don't address this now, it will grow. Believe us. Your W might be in an EA with this guy. He may not even know it.

Right now don't move out. Your W feels like a caged animal, then let her move out. If you're the one that's been staying home, why should you have to leave?

Your W is reacting based on how you had treated her in the past. So the one thing you want to do is start re-building the trust and friendship with her. Tell her you understand how she feels and are willing to give her space, however because she is the one who is questioning the relationship, she should be the one to leave and sort things out.

Don't do or say anything to make her feel guilt, just say it matter of factly. You want to make it easy for the kids. Split their time between the two of you if you want, or you can even have an in-house separation.