Forgive AND forget?

[WCW]

The Bachelor saga continues, he can't understand why people are so upset with him. ARE YOU KIDDING?? Whatever. There's too much real life to think about to use up more brain cells on that individual.

PS, I can't totally agree with you that your focus needs to be on the other person and making them happy. In all honesty, I think that's what ended me up in this sitch I am in. I lost myself while I had my focus on someone else and their happiness.

My mom is struggling right now with her H and looking for a place to vent. Emails are burning! I told her I was reading a book Stop Blaming Start Loving in my 'spare' time and suggested it for her. Mom told me to stop reading self help books and just get out my bible and said Jesus loves us. Her whole response brought tears to my eyes.

Me and H? good stuff, bad stuff, trying not to get sucked down but I do. Maybe I haven't learned anything yet.
Eyes on the horizon, bubble in the middle.

[NNP1965]

Just checking in on you WCW.

[WCW]

Thanks for checking NNP.
I have proof now, H loves me. He refilled my coffee cup for me this morning. LOL, pretty pathetic.

I shared the electric bill information with H. We used over 1000kwh less per month from last Jan/Feb to this Jan/Feb with about the same type of weather which now lowers my budget billing by $100 per month. I attribute the savings to how the livestock is arranged to use less tank heaters, and also using a solar water tank that someone gave us because it didn't work for them. Works great for me!

Wow, the 2nd refill is on the way! and a poptart for breakfast! Significant? probably not except that the other night a guy asked me and H why we have separate cell phone plans. I told him H and I don't share well. The guy said don't you play together very good? I said we don't do that either. H had an embarrassed smile as he listened.

[BeingMe]

Dang! I got all excited there for a sec! Well, it is a step, of some sort, isn't it. It is nice to save some money on electricity ... good for y'all.

[WCW]

BM, I was warming up for April Fools....

H and I took our 'stuff' to a trade show today to sell. It went ok, always wish for better. But it's another positive change I think, doing these things together.

I had an aha moment.
For years I was always the person in the background and H was the guy that everyone knows. Today, if I had been keeping track, I would be that more people knew me by name than H. That's what happens when H goes dark. lol
What I really wonder is - does H notice those changes too?

Question.
A few years ago a guy quit his good job, floundered around for awhile, and then went to school to start a career doing the same thing H does. Guy and H are sorta buddies, and this is the same guy H is now 'partners' with in a new business venture. H doesn't say a lot to me about it, but my gut is saying this will go bad at some point. Two guys in direct competition in business together.
H has commented about other things "better to keep them where you can see them than not".
Is this a guy thing? Can this work? Nothing I can do to change it, but do I give any more brain space to being concerned about it?

[amd]

What would being concerned change? You already answered that question: nothing. H will figure it out one way or another. Just my 2cents.

Be well.

[WCW]

H is stressing, I hear the anxiety in his voice when we talk. He has taken on this new business and trying to keep too many balls in the air during this already very busy time of year.

He won't ask for help, but if I know of something and offer he will say sure. I'm not sure just how much I should try to do for him. It reminds me of the old days when I did all I could to show my support and in return I got shut out of his life and told I never supported anything he did! I do want to help and support and be part of his life but that is not the same as being an erand girl. Where is the balance....

[amd]

He won't ask for help, but if I know of something and offer he will say sure. I'm not sure just how much I should try to do for him. It reminds me of the old days when I did all I could to show my support and in return I got shut out of his life and told I never supported anything he did! I do want to help and support and be part of his life but that is not the same as being an erand girl. Where is the balance....

DB coach Chuck told me that I had become more like H's mother than his wife and that I needed to not do for him so much. It is a really fine line, and sometimes I fall onto the wrong side. Maybe in your case you can say something, "Let me know if you need any help with that," and leave it with him to reach out and ask.

[theotherhalf]

girl do I understand your frustration and feel your confusion!!

I wish someone would come up with a definate "right" answer. This is tough.

[WCW]

Thanks amd and toh. I'm still trying to learn the line between supporting and being a mother.

A few items to note -
-H was very late one night, he sent me a txt where he was and why.
-We were up eary the next day to take our 'stuff' to a trade show. I got in the shower and H joined me! Maybe it was just because we were running late but H is a person that is used to being late.
-H slept all night in our bed. My back was killing me and I asked during the day if he would give me a back rub at night. When I went to bed I asked if he still would, and H came to bed soon after I went. He didn't turn off the lights or tv in the other room, but he spent the whole night in our bed with me. This is the first time since Sept 2004 that he slept with me in our bed without someone else staying on the couch.
So, 3 things very different from MLC H and very like Real H.

H was looking for a specific photo so we dug thru a pile of stuff on the desk. Wow that was tough! Pictures from when the family was together for his mom's funeral, pictures from the kids graduation, pictures from our World Champion show days, pictures from our good days, even one in a rare dance together.

I went to a home and business show end of the week, a mediator had coupons for $150 off her service for D mediation. I skipped it at first but then circled back and took one.