I won't kid you what lies ahead is tough if you detach. It is done out of love... Not only for her, but yourself.
I have learned that once in the fog of an A, DBing is the best offense there is. It gives the W a chance to feel the world without you and it starts to get you off the roller coaster. Both are good outcomes.
I was helped by the very people responding to you now.
The OM isn't worth your time or effort. Focus on you, get strong, and maybe she will see the man she was in love with again. Sometimes they don't. But you will be stronger.
V
***Getting up every day and learning to breathe in a new me. For me and my children***
Me: 43 W: 38 SD-15 S(s): 12,9,7 Separated-2/14/2009 My sitch