Retrouvaille saved me - AN #3

[AnotherNightmare]

I'll give you a little 2x4 "tap" for a small red flag I see..using the words "enjoy" and "convenience" to me implies a bit of anger still...like maybe...she's getting away with something. I mean, is it really that "convenient" to be the victim? Is it really enjoyable?

You are right about that. There is still the old part in me that is thinking if she just did this or that, everything would be OK. Bad thought. Need to hit myself for that with a 2x4. It makes me feel powerless and I start blaming her for that. So thank you for the catch!

I need to stop analyzing her behavior, her problems and her role. All I need to do is try to look at things from her side, try to figure out what it is like to be in her shoes, so I can show her that I understand. There is a fine line, and I need to be very vigilant not to cross it, at least not too often.

I'm not saying that to offend you, ...

No offense taken. I wish I could catch myself doing and thinking this stuff as easily. It just means there is still a lot of work ahead of me.

P.S. I feel for you having an actual English language barrier on top of the man/woman language barrier!!

Well, we are both German. And we speak German at home. So my issue is rather that the books we read are English, Retrouvaille was in English, and I need to translate what she says (or I say) when I post it here. Because I work and she is a SAHM, I speak English all day long, and I would say that after more than 11 years in this country, I am more comfortable speaking English than German.