I believe at this point that she likes to think of herself as the victim. I am not debating whether or not she was the victim of my abusive behavior, but I kind of sense she enjoys the convenience of being the victim.
She may be enjoying the validation that comes from finally being recognized as the victim.
I'll give you a little 2x4 "tap" for a small red flag I see..using the words "enjoy" and "convenience" to me implies a bit of anger still...like maybe...she's getting away with something. I mean, is it really that "convenient" to be the victim? Is it really enjoyable?
And really, maybe the MLC question does too...like what's wrong with her? Can we blame a MLC? Can we blame her enjoying this convenience of being a victim? Can we blame another component?
I'm not saying that to offend you, just to warn you about the old thought processes worming their way back in...as you are still in the very beginning of this new process. And I commend you for working at it as you are!
I am also working on what to blame!...alcoholism? family background? personality disorder? I liked your comment In the end, it probably would not really matter or change what I need to do for myself. I think I need to adopt that.
P.S. I feel for you having an actual English language barrier on top of the man/woman language barrier!!
