Feb 6 I caught her in a lie and she came home drunk and told me that it wasn't a one time thing, that she was having an ongoing affair with her boss since October. She said she loved both of us and didn't know what to do, that she was confused. She left for the weekend to think about things . . . When she came home she was very warm to me and then turned very cold and said that the only reason she came home was for the kids, that we would basically co-exist. . . .
2 weeks ago I caught her in another lie. She said she had to work late but she ended up being with the OM. She came home and blew up at me like it was my fault she lied to me. She said she was leaving grabbed some of her stuff and was gone. She stopped by the house a few days later. . .
Dennis,
I'm not understanding something; your wife just comes and goes as she pleases, with no repercussions? Unless I'm reading this wrong, that's incredibly disrespectful, and I would never advise that you put up with such a thing.
You also seem to talk a lot about "she is warm to me," and "she is cold toward me." You are VERY enmeshed with what your wife thinks, feels and acts toward you, and I'm guessing that you're fairly co-dependent. (I was/am, too). Have you ever done any reading on the subject? I would also suggest "No More Mr. Nice Guy," in addition to Michele's "Divorce Remedy."
Finally, when you say she "initiated physical contact," are you still ML with her? If you are, I hope you are using protection.
EVERYTHING I read in your long post is about "she needs," "she wants," etc. What do YOU need and want?
