Ali, I'm not arguing here, but please understand exactly what I am trying to encourage Cinco to do. I'm not telling him to threaten her. I'm telling him to BE HONEST with her about his feelings. His feelings ARE that he doesn't think he wants to be married to her forever IF they cannot together find their passion for each other. His truth is NOT that "hey babe, put out more sex or I am outta here". If that was his truth, I would tell him to keep it to himself and would counsel him that he was being an ass. But what he really feels is that he wants her to find her passion for him and if she cannot find it, he does not know if he can commit to the marriage forever.
He has not threatened her at all (except that by mentioning it during fights, she probably felt threatened)....so when you said "please stop threatening her" I feel that you maybe think he has been doing that. He hasn't. But he also has not been HONEST with her completely about what he is thinking and feeling. The honesty is what she needs and deserves.
There are many women and men on this and other forums, whose husband or wife had been asking for passion for many years, then suddenly he or she has an affair and leaves or just leaves even without an affair....and the left behind spouse will say everytime "if he was that close to leaving, why didn't he/she SAY SOMETHING?!?!".
So everyone....I know it sounds like I am beating up on Cinco....but what I'm really doing is advocating transparency and honesty. I'm advocating that we all TALK about what is truly going on in our hearts and minds.
Ali - Cinco is a lot different than your H, I believe. Its hard to think of them in a comparative way, as I don't think there is much to compare.
