WAW - Very confused and devestated - pt 4

[confusedinpa]

If you can swing it, take a trip out to Hawaii and do the LOST tour they have out here. Yes I'm in Hawaii and actually live next to some of the actors.

Whew sorry this is such a long post.

No appologies for a long post - as you can see I'm no stranger to them.

We had actually gone to Hawaii for our honeymoon (Maui) and I had been planning our 10 year anniversary trip there as a surprise (it would have been this Oct). I just hope I still get that chance.

With respect to the verbal ju-jit-su, what do you mean? Can you give me an example of how that would go if she says that she can't because she's still hurt/anger/resentful?

If saving the marriage is the goal, then what's the right answer?
Working/improving on the relationship? Finding the love/passion back in our relationship?

Women will evaluate their MLC in terms of emotion and feelings (career, future with kids, romance, etc.) Right now your W is re-evaluating everything in her life which shows in your posts. You're not going to be able to talk her out of it. But what you can do is to SHOW her the positives and build on them. Show her that the life she has really isn't as bad as she believes it is. Show her that the life she wants is right in front of her. People in MLC will only concentrate on the negatives thereby giving them that "trapped" feeling. So the only thing they know is that they want out. It's not logical.

It is so descriptive of her that it seems to be a mid-life crisis. She really seems unhappy/negative about everything in her life. I had asked her what her dream was (2-3 weeks ago) before and she said it was to be in a better place (I assume she meant physically and emotionally). Do you think I should ask her again to elaborate?

I know in her facebook page she has posted that her dream is love and her favorite place to be is in the arms of someone she loves (very hurtful the first time I read it). I didn't say anything to her about it. I assume I shouldn't. What are your thoughts?

I'm still working my 180 and getting a life. I did join a gym yesterday. When she saw me put a bag into my truck last nite, she asked what it was for and I told her it was my gym stuff. She made some comment about how I had enough time to do that. I told her that I haven't been hungry during lunch so rather than sit in my office, I think I'm going to try to go to the gym.

I think that irked her as she's gained weight over the last several weeks and right now I'm lighter than I was when I met her. In fact, today she sent me a picture from last year where I was about 20-25 lbs heavier with a double chin just to show me how much heavier I was. We joked about it back and forth in emails. I know it's bugging her as she's been trying to lose weight and I lost it without trying.....

Oh well, whatever....