Hey thanks Kat.. I just cant do it! I know its fear, fear of his reaction, of more rejection, of bothering him. Also, it just never feels like the right time. I think he is right 'in it' as in, stuck in an unhealthy sitch with her he wants to exit from, which is placing a huge strain on him and he is probably very unhappy.. he already is trying to avoid her..and he's made the decision to end it, but cant face the fallout from that, workwise (and emotionally). Its ridiculous that I havent been able to phone him, I am sure in fact he would be happy to hear from me, maybe even relieved! I suppose it just feels like it wouldnt be the right time for HIM.

Theres something going on as people are going down around me. My sister is in turmoil, my Mum is low, my Dad is too and feeling unwell and worried about money, Cher is facing disapointment, my BFFs FIL is dying.. theres a sense of disintegration, things falling apart, peeling back, being exposed.. I am a sensitive soul though, so I pick this stuff up.. then I remembered that there are planets connecting with Chiron, planet of wounds and healing.. seems like people are being exposed, or reaching the core of what has been bothering them.. a sense of, I cant take much more of this...enough now.

I think its interesting that the front page news in the UK is dominated by Jade Goody dying of cancer and very graphic pictures of her suffering and her loved ones and theres a sense that we are all literally waiting for her to die, any hour now..but as tragic as that is, its like, enough now. To me, she is representing the real earthy human suffering that alot of people seem to be feeling right now, whether thats emotionally or financially (and for some of us, both !!). There is a sense of 'death' around.. but then there are some pretty harsh planetary alignments round right now... 5 planets in Aquarius worrying and pulling on us mentally, opposed to Saturn (planet of death, Old Father Time) on the other side of the sky, currently going backwards (so slowing things down further) and about to be exact conjunct a full moon (on my birthday, eeek!).

Things will ease up, but not until late spring, early summer I think. I also think.. I am talking to myself here, but that made me feel better to explain that to myself !!! And singing along to Blur helps

Oh and they cut interest rates to 0.5% today !!!! Woohoo, even lower mortgage, yippee.
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