I'm still very supportive of all you are doing, the love behind your message, and your patience. However...just bringing the D word to the table during a fight isn't really laying your cards on the table.
I don't mean to sound like I am scolding you, but the reality here is that if you took the time to force her into a radically honest discussion about all of this and told her how close you are to leaving, then you wouldn't end up throwing it out there during a heated argument. You are holding onto resentment about everything and that isn't really her fault, its yours.
She can't take seriously what you say during a heated moment the same way she would take seriously a radically honest discussion.
She also can't evaluate what she is willing to do or how much she is will to change or try, if there is just this vague threat hanging over her versus radical honesty.
I do think you already know the answer to would you want her if she can't give you this....you are just too afraid to face that answer yourself. Unfortuantley, this isn't really fair to her, especially since she really is trying.
You have lots of reflection to do....but I know you are breaking through all the layers and barriers, one by one....they are inside of you, not in her pants. (I know you know that).
