Hi Maria, I,m with Jeff on the being 100% sure. I think its normal to have doubts whilst still knowing it is what you must do -if that makes sense.
As for being, mad sad, hurt and angry, they are all normal reactions and feelings to your situation. I cannot imagine anyone being happy with a D, or pleased about it or any emotion that is the opposite of how you are now feeling.
Gosh I waited years to D and only did so for financial reasons eventually but I still had all those emotions dispite not having seen my h for years.
Many many of those who have left the board had spouses having MLC or they supposed them to be having them if we believe all the "evidence" that says they are. Very very few come out the other side and return, yes some do but they are rare. I know people still waiting after 8/10 years. Thats alot of life to have missed out on. Many more move ahead after a much shorter time. We are always told that they can catch us up if they want to. Not sure about the custody of the children? is this you trying to make a point, could you really give them up, or are you just worn down by being the only person who is responsible for them and I don't just mean the washing,ironing feeeding etc. That is the easy bit, it's the being the one to settle the squabbles the bickering etc that most chldren I know do that wears you down. Thats when you need another adult at the end of the day to lean on,otherwise you feel or can feel overwhelmed by it all and doubt your own parenting skills. I could well be as we say barking up the wrong tree here,but it was just a thought I had.
A D isn't going to happen overnight you have lots of time to re think or halt the process should you decide to but I feel that maybe you need to know it is happening and then you will feel more able to cope with your H's indifference or inability to provide even a tiny bit of what you need.You may even interact with him differently when you have this knowledge that a d is happening. We all support you whatever you do I am sure for we have not walked in your shes although many of us have made the same journey. Take care.
