Episode IV: A New Hope (?)

[dday101798]

After a relatively nice day yesterday, I just simiply came unglued last night after going to dinner without my boys for now nearly a month.

Today in fact marks an exact month that I haven't seen them. Suffice it to say, my L says that as painful as it may be, she is the one who took them, she is the one who is conealing them, and thus she is the one who need to arrange contact as agreed and that the longer this drags out like this, the better off it is for my case.

I was absolutley fine then I was brushing my teeth for bed and just fell apart and balled my head off until I finally fell asleep. Then as if that wasn't bad enough I had dream after dream waking me up of us in court and her all the sudden wanting to reconcille.

Just kind of journalizing this here, haven't really written in my journal in over a week and half, not much to update "no contact, no kids" for each day.

Hoping for a nice a weekend. Goin to a St. Patrick's parade on Saturday then spending a good portion of the night cooking to help out a friend who has something wrong with her arm and can't move it and is hosting her son's 21st birthday party on Sunday. That coupled with a football game on sunday after the party should be fun, although I haven't thrown a ball since about the weekend before I last saw my boys so my arm is probably going to be crap.

Eh well. As long as the weather holds out I'll just try and make the best of it.