I just got a little side tracked at the moment so I've not really been reading the book, however W is encouraging me to be a superior man in a slightly different way. You see my car, a mid sized VW is on it's last legs and rather than get something of a similar size W wants me to get something big, a big ***** BMW . Well my finances certainly won't stretch that far at the moment although I have promised myself something like that for my 50th in 4 years time when some insurance policies pay out. W doesn't believe I will do it when I am 50 so shes saying do it now. She I says that I am a big guy so I should drive a car that reflects that. I think the reality is she wants me as her H to have one up on her friends H's by saying "My H has a bigger one than your H" (car that is). Well the debate goes on.
W continues to blow hot and cold, let me give you a little example. A couple of weeks ago I came home late and consequently made W 10 mins late for her gym class, the outcome of that was she didn't talk to me for a week. This weekend W came home 2 hours late and I completely missed my gym class and all she could say was "oops... it completely slipped my mind" well I threatened not to speak to her for a week to see how she'd like that, but I'm above all of that stuff now.
i don't think now is the time to purchase a car, especially on ethat you could barely afford. Your W sounds an awful lot like my ex when it comes to buying things they can not afford. You know whatth eright thing to do is lan...don't ley her bully you into buying a "status symbol". I am happy that you threatened to not speak to her for a week.....LOL. I don't know Lan it seems to me that the selfish bug is still running rampant in our wives. I hope you continue to be able to handle it the way you have.
Hey there Lan - could the Superior Man attitude to this sitch be take the view that you don't need a big big car to define your purpose in life - your "Edge" as I understand it from the book...and that you'd rather spend any money you do have in a much more productive and beneficial way - a holiday?
WTR the car situation Chapter 6 of the book has the answer for me and it basically says don't buy the car to appease W cos in the long run she won't respect me for it, by caving in and not making my own decision. I’m sure I've read something similar in another book and I know somewhere along the line Sandi has told me the same on this board. So as far as I am concerned the big BMW is off the agenda and it's going to be another VW which I can afford.
Another issue now is W is mentioning how much time I spend on the computer, previously I was thinking it was because she wanted us to spend more time together but recently she's mentioned it more cos she started IM'ing someone on the computer and I think she wants me to back off so she can hog the computer.
So for this coming weekend I'll tell W what I am doing about replacing my car, also I'll ask her what her issue is about me being on the computer. If she hasn't anything to hide then she can IM who ever she wants without me taking a step back.
Ok on the car front we do it my way, W can see the sense in it now cos it won't stretch my finances, also it will still give us the chance to do things we planned for the future like go to Rome in October. (yes we are still planning for the future).
On the IM'ing I can't snoop on the account but I did see the IM contact on the screen as a work collegue of hers obviouslty she didn't want me to see it and clicked it off the screen. Thats as far as I go on that I haven't got the energy for all that hassle or to discuss further so I'll let it play it self out and take it from there.
Anyway my focus now is on me so I'm gonna concertrate on looking for a new car.
