Standing on the Edge

[native]

One thing it does say is that the 2 most commonly expressed feelings by men are anger & pride.

You probably also read in that book that men feel hurt but it is often expressed as anger because they have been taught not to show hurt feelings.

I am surprised by how much anger I have, though I am careful to vent most of it here.

I know from a recent conversation (and many unpleasant interactions) from my W that she has a lot of anger as well, but for her own reasons. It was a revelation to find out that her counselor was telling her the whole 7 yrs. of our marriage to simply have sex with me when she was suffering the effects of rape trauma which were to a large degree not addressed.

The counselor never brought me in and said 'You know, your wife is struggling with issues unrelated to you. Here's how you can help her feel safe and intimate, etc...'

Instead, my wife tried to tell me what she needed by using comparisons, passive/agressive behavior, rejection when I approached her in the wrong way, which in turn made me feel unwanted and rejected.

On top of it she tells me other crucial info about what she wanted in intimate situations only after she leaves me.

So I feel like I was largely in the dark for our whole marriage about what she needed re: this issue.

And that adds to the injustice I feel about the whole situation.