Just keep swimming...PH #5

[gucci loafer]

I am the love of his life and he doesn't want to lose me.

Perfect. He is coming around quite nicely. Just what I expected.

He's been a complete ass and is willing to do whatever it takes to make it up to me.

Excellent again. He is now willing. Notice that you have done the exact opposite of what most on this site do. You have let go. You kicked him to the curb. You have been acting like a WS does. Notice ahd remember what works. He has offered all of this without one bit of pursuit or hanging in there from you. The reason he has turned around it YOU and what YOU have done the moment you kicked him out.

He promises to never lie to me again so here's the truth:

WARNING WARNING WARNING... Do NOT believe this statement.
This is the statement you need to make him work to prove to you.
Promises are cheap.. Especially from a liar. Once a liar.......

He thought if he brought up critical issues in the R (sex) it might cause me to doubt things and leave him; he was afraid to lose me so didn't want to rock the boat

BOLOGNA... He is blaming YOU that he couldn't or wouldn't be honest. Do NOT fall for this nonsense. He is lying here right after he said he wouldn't lie. This is another thing you need to call him on. He is telling you it is your fault that he wasn't honest... (Get real)

He's bothered by me not working because it would help me establish my own life, resented having to work long, stressful hours to support our lifestyle while I was being lazy, uncomfortable when coworkers asked about my job search and he didn't have a response as to why a "smart childless young adult is just sitting home"

I would agree with him on that point. I would also question this issue with a woman I was living with and why she didn't work and would wonder if she was lazy. He has a point on this comment.

And of course, everyone's favorite subject...the OW

Do NOT believe a WORD of what he says about the OW. Not a word.

Why? Some could be true, some is a lie. It isn't worth the effort to figure the fact from the fiction. It will only drive you crazy. He will now be re-writing history on how it happened no matter what really happened. You need to show him the same thing you have been showing him.

And that is that you don't care what happened in the past, but that you "have decided" that you will not be with someone who lies, cheats or someone who doesn't communicate.

He thinks I am his best friend, no one knows him like I do.

List of things fun things/special memories from the past

Good. He is acting like a BS does on this site. He is now saying and doing all the things the betrayed do when they are trying to get their spouse back. This is good.

He was wrong to say we have nothing in common. I was right, there will always be something new to enjoy together. If I truly feel that he is not my best friend then he wishes me well.

Quite the tune changer now huh? How funny.

He has learned that he needs to communicate to have a successful R. He is committed to tell me everything from now on.

Suddenly MR. Honest and Mr. Communicator huh? You tried and tried to get him to communicate and be honest, and once you quit trying to communicate and to have honesty, he suddenly wants it... You will need to say to him in your response to him that "he is trying to be someone they aren't" (that comment always works wonders) and "you are only doing this to get me back and things will then go back to the same old ways we had"...

After 8 years he things it deserves the effort to see if we can work it out (points out I said this exact thing to him but he didn't listen and I was right). He wants to back to MC because he doesn't want it to end like this. If I want to move on after MC it would help give me better peace of mind.

You will need to tell him that you have "already" moved on and that MC didn't work before so why would it work now. He lied then, so why wouldn't he lie now.......

He is committed to doing everything in his power to make it up to me. He is asking for the chance he wouldn't give me two months ago and hopes I am the better person and am willing to give it. He loves me and doesn't want to lose the life we've built.

Wonderful... You are in great shape here. I must remind you that I am on here to help save relationships. Looks like you have the opportunity to save yours. The key here is in making sure that you know HOW to save it and make it better than before. You need to get him to make these changes on his own. He can't make them in one week or in a great letter. You accomplish that by doing what you have been doing.


First thing you need to tell him should be something regarding the OW. I will show you how to bring that up and what to say later today.

All in all.. YOU are in great shape here for a reconcilliation.