Hope, I hear you about what you say on being spontaneous!!!!!
One of the reasons my H gave for leaving me was that I was a planner and he wants to be spontaneous!!! Like you, I explained that I have to plan because of kids etc etc, you know the story. He agrees that kids need plans and schedules, that I am not wrong but that we are different. Can you believe it? He uses this AGAINST me for reason to be out with OW!!! I feel your pain! I feel your injustice! We are at home holding down the fort, providing a safe, secure home for the kids and all our H's want is spontaneity. Well, I want that TOO!! I would love to fly off somewhere and have some fun. But then who will put the kids first! It's like our H is another kid and they want to have their own fun and not be responsible for other people.
It's total MLC. The responsibility overwhelms then, they want to flee, escape it, the cage in which they built themselves. The career, the mortgage, kids, wife. It all got a bit too much and they want to live the carefree bachelor life again.
The good news is that he stayed quiet and listened. Do you think he was actually listening? Do what works, not what doesn't work. That is very important according to DB Coach.
I really hope your H is coming out of fog slowly and thinking more about D15. Have you read the six stages of MLC? They may flip back and forth for awhile so be mentally prepared. Stay strong, Hope.
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
