Karen, Pollyanna and Hope. I think most marriages are salvagable unless there is some kind of abuse or addiction involved. Sorry, Hope, your H's sitch is a real tough one.
I am an optimist so I think that there are a lot of things that people can compromise on. Yes, I have my principles and values but I also have a lot of self-imposed rules as well which are not solid rules per se but just ways that I like to do things. Like most people, I get annoyed when I don't get my way. I am now looking at ways to curb my anger and annoyance and talk myself into a calmer state of mind and not get upset over everything that does not adhere to my view of the world.
It's a change that is long overdue. I didn't always used to be this way. I remember very clearly that I was a happy-go-lucky sort of teenager and always had a smile on my face. But life slowly became more complicated, moving, kids, landlords etc. Everything accumulates and my mind is filled with thoughts of problems or lists of things to do etc. So I became annoyed easily because one thing affects ten others that needs to be done so the whole process gets delayed. It's just everyday stress but it would show on my face and my tone of voice.
It was therapeutic for me to let it out and talk about it and moan about it. But it was a big turnoff for my H. Now I know, too late but can't change history. So I am working on that aspect on myself, for me, not for anyone else. I don't want to affect negatively on my kids or my other relationships. So I am trying to be more aware of my speech, sighs and annoyance levels and try to tone eveything down. Being aware is wisdom. I want to be wise.
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
