That's a very good question. It's also quite similar to one my W asked me on the phone, which was "Why do you think YOU're the one for me?"
(Which is different question since there's obviously other(s), at least in an emotional sense. Totally busted her texting at my desk after she thought I'd gone to bed but came back to the workroom for something. I told her I was troubled by the online affair, she denied and said it was only once or twice -- lie. We'll get the phone bill, I said. Defiance. About what you'd expect. Anyway, back to LuckGirl's question.)
I'm sure you can all relate that it's wierd to try to enumerate WHY you want the person who doesn't want you, especially when it's so easy to fall into the pattern of highlighting their hurts to you in this community.
The first time I met her, I told my very close friend, "I'm going to marry her." She is smart, articulate, interesting; I love hearing her stories about travel or stupid/silly things that happen at work. I admire her and her achievements. When I am with her, and times are good, I can't imagine being anyplace else. She feels like "home" to me.
I don't overlook her shortcomings, and I don't hesitate to CALL them shortcomings. She's not the world's greatest mother, in either the functional or emotional sense. My family, rallying around me in this crisis (but they've only had the movie trailer version, none of the details), all admitted (after 9 years!) that they find her priorities to be backwards -- work, travel, family. And that's probably an accurate description of her priorities -- I think there was co-dependency on her part, as on mine, and that she took advantage of my family-centeredness.
It occured to me today that, when she complains at MC that I was "checked out," SHE was checked out too. Get home from work late, we'd only have an hour or so together, so the last thing either wants is a "talk." But then she complains that I was checked out and wouldn't have a "talk" about the need for counseling!
Do I know there are "other fish in the sea?" Yes. But I feel like I caught my limit. In spite of her shortcomings, she "feels" right for me. She has always said how "opposite" we are. Even MC pointed that out in MC's summary of Session #1. But that seems right to me. Of course we're opposites, because together we're whole.
Or at least I always thought so. Now she says she's "whole" just fine without Dr Hemlock, thank you very much.
MC Session #2 is in 1 week. It might be MC Session Last. Might not.
